luzopi's writes

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2010-09-03T04:42:00.000-07:00

SLBNAOLBNLNV LNB ALANB LJNRLNALNB L.ADN B;ADLBKNBLAKNM LEADKBNK;EBE

Sarcastic Self-righteousness. =w=

2009-09-23T06:42:00.001-07:00

Let's see, I shall attempt to emo about my life. Because teens are supposed to be emo, stupid and uncaring about the world in general. Of course, we live to disobey rules, and are likely to be the source of litter, discourtesy, and inconsiderate behaviour. Thank you, oh-so-mature adults, for that awe-inspiring and totally accurate stereotype you have painted of us. (:

(Lolwhuts, I'm already off-topic. My English teacher would be ashamed. ;D)

I would like to rant about adults. Before I turn into one myself and become all snobby just because I'm a few years or so older.

Teens are usually accused of not giving up seats to the elderly, or ignoring the elderly, etc.

I have been pushed in the bus by an elderly man before. Without a word of apology. Though it was clearly him who moved towards me. No, I was not groped. But it was a rude brush by.

I have been on a crowded bus, at night, where a clearly able-bodied adult woman was sitting down on the special yellow seat while an elderly lady stood right next to her. There was clearly room to move, but even as glares were directed toward the adult from the passengers, there was not a single budge. She refused to meet our gazes as well.

I have seen teenagers giving up their seats to the elderly, without any complaints or prompting. There are also adults who do this, of course, but other adults hog the seats and refuse to move even when the elderly person stands right next to them. It's quite sad, really.

---

Perhaps it is only my own relatives, but I was absolutely irked by one incident.

I was drawing, and my aunt commented that my uncle could draw better. Then he came over and started picking at my drawing, stating that what I drew was wrong, etc. He proceeded to draw a swan of his own. My aunt then gushed over it. I saw nothing special with it. [I might be biased, of course.] They then talked over my head. Like, wow. I don't exist once my uncle's ego has been fanned.

---

I have no idea what to write now. Hmm. I suppose writing is a catharsis for me. I'm feeling better now. I could rant about the education system and examinations in general. Several pages of it, I suspect. And perhaps only 10% of it would be: 'AFADFGAKAGDAKGAKHDAKAERRVCCEXS! Joo suck, learning system!' But I won't. (:

---

I was a little sad, not depressed, this year. I wonder if I should type it out on a public blog. ...I will err on the side of caution and prevent you, reader, from hearing this epic tale of love, tragedy and betrayal. xD

With the help of my dear friends, I have managed to recover, mostly. Some wounds are hard to heal, so I suppose I will have to wait for Time. It certainly does not help when you are faced with the source of your angst and aggravation around 50% of a normal school week. >:

Unresolved issues itch. My personal experience.

I wonder how I can complain about my life, when adults' lives are clearly much, much more complicated and important than insignificant little me and my petty complaints. (:

Well, quoting my best friend. 'SHIT HAPPENS.' Especially around me. :D

I love how I manage to work myself into awkward situations, and torture myself by angsting over it. Incessantly. Like, day and night. Every other minute, thoughts drift back to THAT. Time has not worked. I hope that getting space and moving the hell away from them will help then.

[Oh hey, I finally reached my point. :D]

-EMO EMO EMO-

---

I think I set myself up for a bucketload of emo and hiding, for the rest of my life. Being as I am is pretty much ANGST CENTRAL. And no WAN TWUE WOVE.
Hehe. I think I'm all ranted and emo-ed out. Here comes the crack! :D

--- (WARNING: APH FANGIRLISM. WARNING: CRACK. WARNING: EXCESSIVE LEVELS OF HIGH. WARNING: USE OF IMPROPER ENGLISH.)---

WOOOOOOOOTS. I'M IN LOVE WITH IGGY AND HIS NOM. I BLAMEZ KAAAAAAARY. SHE GAVE ME THIS ABSOLUTE <3 FANART. WITH IGGY. AS BRITANNIA ANGEL. AND TEH NOM. -STARES-

I haven't even started to mention the GerItaPrus. Hurhurr. >3

The APHKM is the best place in the world for APH fics. And to me right now. 8D

Liek, woooooots for NWS!!! -corrupts corrupts- >D

MADs are the best thing in the world. =w= Even better than sleep. Maybe. ....screw it, sleep's still better but MADs come a close second. ;D

EastWest. <3
EngAme. xD
FrEn. O:
Italies. >3 With Prussia. 8D
SuFin. -too cute-
RusChi. -squees!-
AmeJap. :D
GERITAPRUS. OT3, WOOTS.

YAO. <3 I FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO WRITE YOUR NAME. IN CHINESE. XD
Kiku. <3 I KNOWS HOW TO WRITE YOUR NAME TOOS. -SHOT-
Gilbert. <3 Teh awesomest.
Ludwig. <3 Why is your voice so smexy?
ARTHUR. <3 Joo are teh loves.

--- (END CRACKINESS)

And wahahaha, the only person who's gonna read this will be Kary. Hopefully. Well shi- D8

Umm, buh-bye. -flails-

dreams, delusions, denial.

2009-01-16T03:29:00.000-08:00

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
For a change, I thought I'd start with a photo. Can anyone guess what it is? Anyone who sits near me in class should be able to see it everyday.(:

I know it looks like some alien object, but it's just a close-up of something and sunlight shining through it. Try to guess! I'll reveal the answer in the next post!! ;P

Now, here's the short story for this week: dreams, delusions, denials.

---

Eating chocolate is supposed to make you happy, right...?

So why am I still crying?

---

He must have been the first person to give me chocolate. I can never recall how, when or why, but from then on, he had always appeared in front of me with a chocolate bar. We would sit under a tree and talk, breaking off chunks of chocolate for each sentence, and before we knew it, the chocolate bar would have disappeared. Then he would smile, and say, 'I'll bring a bigger one next time,' before leaving with a cheerful wave.

---

I miss him.

But that is no reason to cry, because he's coming back.

He told me so, before he left on that train.

So why am I still crying?

---

Those people, the ones in the white coats, they told me that he was my brother. I do not believe it. I do not remember any life beyond these four walls, but they keep insisting that I have a name, that is is Alexandra, and that I had once lived in a town called... It does not matter. What they say is not true. I am a robot. We do not have parents, names, and we do not have any feelings. Those people, they made me as a replica of that man's sister to replace the real Alexandra, and they want me to live in her stead. I will not let them program her identity into me.

---

I have no emotions.

I am not Alexandra.

So why am I crying?

---

It is strange that they have used newspaper to plaster the walls of my room. Although it is not as aesthetically pleasing as normal wallpaper, the pictures and words make a myriad of patterns that dazzle my eyes. Train wrecks seem to be a common theme in the photographs, and the headlines scream about hundreds of deaths. There is a patch of white wall free of newspaper. A list of names is tacked upon it. Each day, I would read the list. Each day, at the name 'Alexander', I would stop, and tears would fall. Even though I do not know any person named that, there would be a heaviness settling upon my chest. Each day, without fail, I would read that list.

---

Why am I crying?

Let me stop, let me stop, let me stop.

I am tired, I am weary, I am exhausted.

I want to wake from this nightmare.

Alexander, he is alive, I know, he will be alive as soon as I wake.

Papa, Mama, they never went to the mountains, there was never a rockslide, they will be there when I wake.

This place, this room with four walls and newspaper, it does not exist.

I am not a robot.

I am Alexandra, and I have my twin, I have my parents, and they are not dead.

I did not survive that car crash, because I never got into that car, and I never lost my memory.

I want to wake up. I do not want to live in this dream.

Let me go home. I know I can.

...so why am I crying?

---

Since people said they didn't understand what I wrote in the previous post, I thought I'd start explaining my writing.

For this short story, the girl, Alexandra, lost her memory when she was in a car accident, and she lives in a special ward in the hospital now.Her twin brother, Alexander, comes to visit her regularly, and he brings her chocolate and chats with her. The 'ones in white coats' are the doctors, but Alexandra has deluded herself into thinking that they are scientists who made her a robot, and are trying to brainwash her into believing that she is Alexander's sister. One day, Alexander dies in a train accident, and she starts crying even though she doesn't know why. At the end, she has recovered her memory. However, she thinks that she's only in a nightmare, and wants to wake up. She's in denial, in other words. However, she's not dreaming, so she'll never wake up, and the reality is that, all her family is dead.

Does that explain the title of this story? (:

---

As U-shiuan complained that there was not enough 'normal' writing that she could read in the previous post, I thought I'd ramble a little on my life.

We are taking the 'O' Levels this year, and everyone's been stressing about them, but has anyone thought of what they are going to do after the 'O' Levels? Our lives don't end after these examinations, rather, we are only just beginning our lives now. Polytechnic, or Junior College? Where should we go? After either one of these, we'll be getting our degrees, but what kind of degree are we getting? What work will we be doing?

We should really start thinking about these kinds of things now, or at least spare some time from studying to consider our options. The kind of job you want to do affects the kind of qualification you'll be studying for, which in turn, affects what your 'O' Level results should be, and what your targets for the 'O's should be. At least, that's my reasoning.

For myself, I want to be a psychologist, and I'm aiming for a Master's degree in Psychology. To achieve that, I'll need a Bachelor's degree first, and I found out that some universities give advanced standing to those who hold diplomas for this, so I'm most likely going to a polytechnic. (This is part of the reason why I dropped Higher Mother Tongue, since that 2 points I could minus off my L1R5 would be useless for polytechnic entry.) I checked out some schools online, read the newspaper, and learned new things. I discovered that you could go straight for your degree after the 'O' Levels, but I assume that it is only if your scores are good enough. So, I'll be doing my best for the 'O' Levels, and what school I go to will depend on my results next year. (:

Sound, the lack of.

2009-01-09T04:48:00.000-08:00

Silent Song

a lilting melody,
a harsh cacophony,
sounds that cascade and fall,
sounds that crash against the wall.

soft whispers and ringing shouts;
staccato beats and slow waltz.

a world of silence and song,
to hold to our hearts we long,
free of any crime and wrong,
eternal peace where we belong.

-luzopi'09

---

When was the last time you stopped and listened to the world around you?
Can you hear the wind blowing, the trees shaking, the birds crying, the rain falling?

When was the last time you listened, really listened to a song?
Can you hear what they say, in voices so sorrowful that the angels forget to pray?

---

I watch.

The sky is gray today, clouds hanging heavy with their burden of rain, and the trees seem to echo their sentiment, boughs bending to touch the ground. Leaves are gathered by the breezes, green, yellow, brown, skipping merrily on and over the grass.

I feel.

The wind blows strong, pulling the weeping willow strands away from their trees, and letting them caress my cheeks with feathery touches. The clouds finally cry, and pelt my arms with millions and millions of tiny drops. Wet, cold, tickling, and my face turns up to the sky.

I taste.

The rain is fresh, sweet, and tinged with a streak of sky. Delightful, like nothing a river could give, and clear, unlike the sludge that comes from taps. Flashes of light signal the start of the thunderstorm, and there is a tang of lightning on my tongue as raindrops drip off my nose.

I breathe.

The air feels alive, rushing into my body, the smells of freshly watered grass and earth. Cool, moist, charged with electricity. The willows scent the dancing breeze with woody bark. Nature has never felt closer, at that moment.

I live in silence.

Listen to the howling wind,
Listen to the rustling leaves,
Listen to the pattering rain.

Listen, to the thunder crying...

---

I can not, will not, must not hear. If I ever do, I fear I will go mad with joy.

---

Woooo, an update in my blog!! This is also double-posted on my school blog, so I wonder if it counts as an update though... I think it does. Anyway, now that I have to blog every week for English now, and I plan to write poems/stories for each entry, I'll just post the entry in this blog as well as the other blog. So look forward to reading more of the stuff I write! My scanner's kind of not working, so no more sketches for a while yet. Maybe they'll pop up some time this month. Maybe. :3

As can be seen, this week's theme is 'Sound'. Inspiration for the poem came as I was relaxing and listening to songs after doing my homework a few days ago. So I just had to write it out. In the middle of the night. As for the story and emo phrases in size 1 font, they were written spontaneously just now. xD

Feel free to comment on my writing, it's always good to have honest critique! :D

Back again.

2008-07-27T04:17:00.000-07:00

Hey whoever reads this,

Thanks to the persistent pestering of someone, I have returned to my blog! Well, for a little while, at least. A poem and a story, written sometime in May 2008.

I might post more, depending on my mood and whether I actually remember that I do have a blog...

...right, off to go haunt the net.

Bye~

The Girl-Child

2008-07-27T03:23:00.001-07:00

She shivered as the chilling night breeze blew, and she drew her tattered cloak closer to her small body. Her feet were bare, and she winced in pain when each step she took brought the blistered and bloody soles in contact with unforgiving cobblestones. The streets were empty, and the heavy fog had rolled in with the winds, making the city seem even more eerie.

She shivered again, as the cold wind leeched her warmth. She looked up at the bright full moon, thankful for the little light it provided through the thick fog, despite being unable to see past her feet. She shrunk into herself just a little bit more, and continued making her way down the path. She darted glances around her and observed the daunting blocks on either side with wariness.

There was a bad sense surrounding them, and she had enough wits to stay away. She kept walking, slowly, painfully, and finally made it to the last house on the street. It was tiny in comparison to its large shadowy neighbors, but it alone shone with a welcoming light, She stepped onto the porch, not completely without relief, and a small sigh passed through thin, chapped lips.

She blew heat onto her frozen fingers, held onto her bag of matchboxes tightly. A smile with wavering edges bravely pressed itself onto her lips, and she raised her hand to knock on the door. She waited for the door to open, but the blue wooden door stayed shut. She knocked again, and waited patiently for an answer. None came, and she reluctantly shifted off the warm porch, where there was light spilling through the closed curtains, and moved back into the cold street. She shuffled slowly, slowly, and went on.

Fight and Escape

2008-07-27T03:20:00.000-07:00

The pounding of hearts,
The thrill of a chase,
The patter of feet,
The haste of escape.

The creeping of paws,
The grace of a stalk,
The flicker of ears,
The leap of escape.

The crushing of jaws,
The strength of a bite,
The struggle of limbs,
The lack of a fight.

The piercing of fangs,
The trap of a coil,
The scrabble of claws,
The loss of a fight.

Fight and escape; predator and prey.

-luzopi'08

Sketchy

2007-09-14T20:10:00.000-07:00

Bored, not in homework mood, decided to finally post stuff. So, here it is...

Sketch #1: Butterfly-masked Lion

Don't ask about the crappy title, just stare really hard at the weirdish creature thingy... xP

Sketch #2: Wolfeh

A wolfeh. In a really weird pose. It's jumping... or sth. Ah, it has freakishly long ears. xD

I'm waaaaay too lazy, and besides, I don't know how to, to line any of my sketches. Could someone maybe teach me? Or just help me to line them. :3

RAH?

2007-09-14T06:17:00.000-07:00

I like to write depressing poems. That's what I realized, looking through my archives. Maybe it's because I'm usually... cheerful? Happy? Un-sad? That I need to depress myself by writing these dark poems. Ahhh, well.

Yes, this poem does relate to me, and my current life. Not that anyone would know. Let's just leave people in the dark, and not say anything about it. :3

Hummms, currently obsessing over D.Gray-man~ Both the manga and anime, and also the fanfiction plus fanart. Hee. :D

I know I'm supposed to study for exams and all, but I just can't be bothered to. The repercussions of this will most probably show in my exam results, and I won't be able to go to the stream I want. Then again, I don't care much. I'm too lazy to.

Weeeell, about my sketches.... Being evil, I'm not going to post it here yet. ;P Anyways, no one wants to see them, right? ^^

Ah, I just joined a Role Playing forum called Zyntar. I'm an administrator there. Heh. Come and join, people! http://zyntar.proboards106.com/index.cgi

Feel like changing the blog skin, but too lazy to again...

About updating my fanfics... Not gonna happen. Well, unless you wait for maybe a month or so? I know I'm such a bad authoress, but, yeah, that's me.

Buh-bye for now,

Mishie.

Betrayal, again.

2007-09-14T06:12:00.000-07:00

I promised myself, never again,
But somehow these feet take me to the same path.
I went through the pain yet again,
And still I have not learned,
The wounds of betrayal.

Like the one before you,
You managed to ensnare my trust.
With your serpiente tongue,
You sealed a friendship with me.

A lamb to the slaughter,
Does not see the knife
Until blood is spilled,
Crimson, on the white fleece
Of Innocence.

Alive through the hurt,
Only sorrow lingers in a torn heart.
Feeling for once more,
Desperation and hunger for acceptance.
And yet again, the fly lands on another web.

Unknowing.

2007-09-01T06:44:00.000-07:00

what i thought was real
turned out to be fake
what i thought wasn't there
had been there all along

somewhere on this path of loving you
everything just broke
now i can't put it back together again
we will never be.

a moment of foolishness
caused a lifetime of regret.
now i will never say i love you
to anyone again.

my broken heart
needs more than time to heal.
my cold mask
needs more than warmth to melt.

i need your love
i need you.
here beside me
always...

confusion clouding my mind
unclear of what i want.
to be with you or
to be separate.

i cant make up my mind
i don't know what to do anymore
i'm drowning in my feelings
i'm not gonna survive.

then... you come.
wanting me
wanting to share with me
wanting me to share with you

finally free from my burden
free to love you
free to be myself
free from everything

happiness...
finally happy
drowning in happiness..

AN UPDATE!? OMG!

2007-08-13T00:54:00.000-07:00

And, like, whoa.

I finally updated...

That's like, epic... xP

Annnnyways, I was convinced..-coughbulliedcough- ...by Baolin to update. Sooo, here it is! A poem and a short story. Is that enough?

If it wasn't enough to make up for... almost 3 months of abandonment, here's a little something:

Sites for MANGA!

For Online Reading:
MangaVolume
MangaRun
The Spectrum

For Manga Downloads:
Many different manga titles! (Up-to-date on many manga)
Shoujo Manga
In forums: [You have to create accounts to access the download links]
Ivy Scans (Shoujo)
The Evil Empire (Various) [It's not really evil... :P]
The Latest of:
Inuyasha
Full Metal Alchemist
Bleach
Shaman King

NOTE: I did not scan or translate any of the manga in the sites listed here! This is just a collection of sites I found. All the manga you can read there are scanslated by dedicated fans of manga.

These are just general sites that cover the more popular manga out there. If you're interested in sites for smaller shoujo titles, tag me! Or if you have questions about downloading manga, you can e-mail or tag me. I'll help any way I can, but I'm not a total expert... so don't expect me to be able to solve every little problem you have.

Ah, by the way, go visit my FF.net or A Single Spark profile to read my Inuyasha fanfiction! ^^
You can find the links by typing links in the navigation. o:

P.S. I forgot to add this: I might add some of my sketchy and altogether horrible drawings here some time... When I get to scanning them. ;P

A Dance

2007-08-13T00:50:00.000-07:00

Silk fluttered, slowly sinking down in the air. The gauzy fabric shimmered, as it gently rippled, pulled along by a breeze. The tinkling of bells resounded in the silent hall, as light footsteps grazed the wooden panels of the floor.

Bare feet were covered by long flowing skirts, and as they were lifted, tiny chimes could be seen gracing the ankles. A tightly wrapped scarf bound the slender waist, and the tasseled ends hung carelessly off the right hip. A modest top covered the torso, and cloth wrappings criss-crossed over the arms, and ended at the wrists.

Small fingers grasped the ends of the silk train tightly, and as she twirled about the hall, the train flew in her wake, her deft twists making it flow gracefully in the air. Her steps were light, and bold, as she moved about the vast stage.

Her face was powdered white, her full lips painted red, and her sapphire orbs were unfocused, as all her concentration was poured into her dance. Her long ebony hair was bound at the back of her head, held down by only two pins, and threatening to break out.

With every move, her clothing swirled about her, and instead of hampering her movement, they served to accentuate it, making every action graceful. As expected, she was clothed solely in shades of blue, which only seemed to further impress the image of a celestial fairy dancing.

There were no musicians to accompany her, a lone dancer out on the floor, and the room was cloaked in silence, but the many present still heard a soothing tune in their heads, that followed on the heels of her, a mesmerising visage.

The soft whispering of fabrics against her skin and the chiming of the bells on her ankles stopped, as she paused at one end of the stage, head cocked as if to listen to some unheard melody. Unknowingly, those present followed her in her movements, their heads tilting to one side, straining their ears to hear, what she heard.

When the silence and tension in the hall grew and swelled to a height whereupon no one dared to breathe, the dancer moved, causing the heavy atmosphere to break, and one could have sworn that you could hear pieces of it falling to the ground.

She leapt up, high into the air, flowing with the wind, with silk streaming behind her. Her hair finally broke free of their restraints, and joined the silk in its rippling. At that moment, a sliver of moonlight shone through the window and highlighted the celestial being that was flying through the air without a care.

She reached the arc of her leap, and seemed to pause in midair for a moment, like a dream, before reality rushed in, and she began to fall. She plunged through the air, the silk flapping wildly behind her looking like wings, and even when it seemed like her death was imminent, she still managed to look like something from out of the world.

The guests watched, frozen in shock, as she continued to fall. It didn't occur to anyone to save her, as they were mesmerised by the dance of death. Their eyes widened, as silk touched the ground first, then black strands of hair, before...

They paused. Their gazes traveled hesitantly upwards, to the smiling face of the dancer, who was looking up at... their lord.

He had caught her by her waist, and her body was dipped downwards as if they had merely been dancing, instead of being on the edge of death. His head was turned to hers, and his face was hidden. Only his golden eyes could be seen, and they were emotionless as always.

As the audience sighed collectively in relief, they couldn't help but marvel at the picture presented before them.

The handsome lord, holding the beautiful dancer in his arm, holding her close to his chest. Silvery white strands covered the back of the man, while the ebony hair of the woman trickled down and barely touched the floor. Moonlight shone solely on the scene, captivating the onlookers with its beauty.

Finally, after a long moment, the dancer was released from the lord's embrace, and set down gently on her feet. The guests came to their senses, and started to applaud loudly. The dancer bowed gracefully, and accepted the applause. She straightened up, and turned to the lord who had saved her from an untimely death. Standing on tiptoes, she reached up, and twined her arms around his neck before giving him a chaste kiss on the lips.

Everyone gasped, as the dancer spun around and gracefully exited the hall, her bells tinkling merrily as she skipped away. Only the lord smiled, as he watched his beloved sashay away.

Send me a storm

2007-08-13T00:37:00.000-07:00

Send me a storm
Shower me with snow
Cover my sins
Make my death slow

I would live today
But regret tomorrow
That I hoped for the past
With all its sorrow

Leave me alone
In the pouring rain
Loneliness comes
And friends go
But where I may wander
Tragedy follows